Totally Tess Spray Tan
Ok, so I am going on my first "tropical" vacation in 6 days, without my kids, and I can't flippin believe it. My on-line purchased bikini just arrived in the mail, and it fits, sorta. I've also picked up a few silly island essentials at Forever 41 *cough* I mean 21, and I am currently on a hunger strike until said bikini starts cooperating with my chardonnay-hot-pocket belly. Basically, my bags are packed and I've got one flip flop already out the door. There is just one thing I need to do before I leave. Spray Tan. I know, it's a little superficial, but during the winter my skin morphs into the color of our pet albino gerbil. Seriously, I am the whitest Cracker I know. Besides, everyone knows, tan fat is way better than white fat. One spray tan transforms my looks from a C- to a solid B+ in less than 3 minutes. Sure, I feel like a dip shit while I am doing it, however, the $20 bucks and few minutes of shame are worth it. Totally Tess. #1 Stay the course no ma...